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Many people think that Amish arrange their children’s marriage which is false but a little true.
Ok, let’s pretend you are Amish and single. How do you look for a mate? In the beginning you check out people from your local community. One problem is many of the other singles in your community are related to you. Now that relation goes multiple generations. Most of the Elders want at least 4-5 generations of distance.
Let’s say that you cannot find a mate in your community, so what do you do? There is no Match.com or Taverns to go to for your search. Many of your relatives have moved away to other communities as this is done to keep communities diverse in nature & assist in the gene pool. So singles enlist the help of their other distant family members in other communities to find that soul mate. You ask that age old question “Do you know anyone that I would like that is single in your community?” Many of the Elders do get involved with this chain of events. Yes, there is a lot of match making going on behalf of the singles.
There are many settings & occasions when young people between the ages of sixteen & twenty-four can mix & meet. Weddings, community meetings, & parties are carefully structured social events that provide opportunities to meet potential partners. However, the primary meeting time for singles is on Sunday evenings after church. During these events going to and from the homes the young people pair off for further time together.
Usually the male will ask to go to the girl's home afterwards where they will have some limited privacy to talk further while the rest of the family is asleep. Not surprisingly more than conversation frequently occurs, perhaps even kissing, necking and petting. The religious restrictions against physical contact give way to more lenient patterns of behavior which actually have a well-established tradition of acceptability as long as sexual intimacy is avoided. The couple tries to be discreet, even secretive, about time together to avoid heckling and pranks from some of their unattached peers or siblings
#AllAboutAmish by #MissouriAmish
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Kyle G. Smith