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I see some problems with the Amish ways of courtship, but also some great strengths. The practicalities in having young people not focus their attention on the stimulating sexual dimensions of a boy/girl relationship is a clear strength. Attention is thereby directed to the long range matters of character, competence, & ability to work together and care for each other, which in the long run are better predictors of marital success than the romantic passions on which American society tends to focus.
The biggest disadvantage of the Amish system is in its seeming avoidance of affectionate physical contact among family members in general. The lack of showing affection between married couples & among other family members may cause problems within young couples’s marriages. However, deep affection & respect in families & between married couples are great within most of the Amish Communities.
In summary, the majority of the married Amish couples have a deep respect for each other & I have even seen affection between the married couples. One time while at an auction, I saw an older couple who were explaining their product to a possible bidder. The husband had a few too many cups of coffee that was being sold at the event. The wife stated to him that maybe he should not have another cup. His response was like many of the English husbands, ‘I know when I have had enough!” She took his hand & gently stroked it a few times without saying a word. He looked at her eyes & he asked her if she want to go sit down. That touched my heart.
#AllAboutAmish by #MissouriAmish
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Kyle G. Smith